entering the new decade

As I sat at my desk, trying to study for Criminal Procedure II midterm examination on Tuesday (31.01.2019. I know.), I innocently clicked into Blogger again to just check out how the younger me viewed the world.

and oh god.

i am embarrassed.

The time when I was most active on blogging was the time I was inspired by Malaysian & Singaporean bloggers - Xiaxue, Fourfeetnine, Cheeserland, and the like. Being inspired by them, and reading their contents almost everyday, made young me a writer current me cringe at.

I used to sound so... uncultured, overexcited, and very much like a 'lala'... And the way my thoughts are processed makes me wonder if I even had any actual thoughts at all lol. The only plus side I can see was that I used to sound very excited about life, which makes it slightly heartwarming to read, once you get past the lack of intelligence.

Don't get me wrong - the bloggers I used to follow are highly intelligent people; Young me, however, failed to take in that aspect of their work, but only adopted the speech, and as a result, turned into a bimbotic lala.

never mind that, now.

It is 30.01.2019 today. 2 more sleeps to a whole new decade. Am I ready for it? Maybe not. But I am ready for a change, no matter how irrelevant it is (change of year is pretty irrelevant because time is a human const...... you get it)

This new decade will be a new chapter for me. 2020 is when I will graduate from law school and move to a new city after 5 years being in Melaka. It is when I will enter into the workforce. It is when I will finally be an actual adult. And the years after that will just be even more of an adult journey.

As I sat here at my desk, typing down all these, I made a resolution.

I want to be able to look back and see how I was before; and so, I will document my life more via blog, actual journal, vlogs, pictures etc. The past 2 years I realized I took lesser pictures and put down my thoughts a lot lesser, mainly because I convinced myself that my life is not picture-ready, not YouTube-worthy, not Instagram material; and that my thoughts are not matured enough, may not be correct, might receive negative feedback etc.

I now realize that none of that matters. The point and idea of documenting and journaling is to record the moments now, the ideas and thoughts I have now, and whatever that I can look back at and say, 'oh I used to be/think/look that way!'

I may look back and see how far I've gone, or I may look back and just appreciate that I had that experience in my lifetime. It does not need to be 'educational' or to make my future self feel better. It just needs to record exactly how it was for me at a certain point of my life.

That's my resolution. Wish me luck in reminding myself of it everyday!