Just cancelled my flights and hotels to Seoul today amidst the sudden CoViD-19 outbreak in South Korea, and I never thought that cancelling this trip would make me so... sad...
I just wanted to travel the world, but money has always been a big issue.
So I worked hard and I saved up - I invest and I really did hustle. And finally, I had the resources to travel! I could even be somewhat loose with the expenditure in Seoul and spend without too much of a worry!
But little did I know, S.Korea had a sudden virus outbreak, making it the "most-infected" country outside of China. According to news reports, 80% of the 833 cases are in Daegu and its neighbouring region, I contemplated for a while since Daegu is quite far from Seoul, but realized that 833 is too big of a sum to just ignore and go.
So I cancelled everything. And now I'm feeling so down about it.
I just wanted a holiday (and to experience the Seoul culture!) before I graduate and work. To experience it while I am still young and somewhat carefree - but guess this is not what the universe planned for me.
Cancelling this trip made me realize how little "young time" I have left, and feel sad for people like me who can't travel in their early 20's because of money so we are left with no choice but to travel when we are older. We ultimately will be able to travel, but it just will not be the same.
Next March, I would probably be chambering and the year after, I would either be working or doing graduate studies. It will probably be a long while till I can go to Seoul in its early Spring.
But oh well, such is life. This just made me even more resolved to work harder, smarter and wiser, and to appreciate the time I have. And also, to take good care of my health.
Wishing that everyone affected by the virus will be able to go through it and feel better soon.
x,
audrey
The Mentality of "Being Successful"
Thursday 20 February 2020
These days, a lot of things don't matter to me anymore — being "successful", being "rich", getting attention, "making it in life" — these all seem so frivolous now when I realized being all that is really a matter of perception , and most of the time, it's other's perception.
I have come to realize that appearing successful, rich, kind, overachieving etc does not mean you are truly that. Because it is all too subjective and people making such observation only can make such remark based on what We choose to show them. It may not really be the case. We may not be as great as people think, and we will know it.
That is possibly why so many of us have the "imposter syndrome" — because we are obsessed with what others think of us. We want people to see us in a certain light, hence we portray ourselves in that certain way. But when people observed the portrayal and compliment us on that, we feel guilty and fraudulent.
We get anxious and worried that what if they found out we are not actually so, and that we don't live up to their expectations.
When we, however, take away our concern of what others think and would think, and we will realize that the "syndrome" is gone too.
Yes it is good to realize our achievements and the good in ourselves, but we must not just blindly gas ourselves up — we need to realize the root of our issue and resolve it from there. Never romanticize unhealthy mental behaviours. Having imposter syndrome is definitely not the healthiest thing to have and we have to uproot that.
Yes, we need to recognize our greatness, but it is important too to recognize our weakness — recognize it honestly — don't romanticize it, don't make excuses for it, don't justify it.
And perhaps then we will be happy and see more meaning in life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
