i need to make it

I am not from a well-off family. I think the exact position we are in is probably lower-middle income, in a city-dweller's perspective. We live in a small town, so our socioeconomic status didn't really bother me that much.

But coming out from that small town, entering uni in a "city" and meeting upper-middle class people, And seeing the rapidly-growing wealth of the Chinese families from my hometown (where I'm from, Chinese is the minority), I can't help but feel like I (my family) is poor in comparison. Because of the lack of financial resources, we cannot afford to participate in the society that we would like to belong to.

Both my parents work hard, but coming from their background and perhaps being who they are as people, whatever wealth they managed to amass is not sufficient to allow us to be like the majority (90%) of my friends.

They travel at least once a year. They study abroad, or at least they CAN study abroad if they want to (Abroad = western countries, eg UK, USA, Australia etc). They can launch their own big-budget business. They can invest to make their money grow.

I can't.

I could, for a while. I had an online business, selling Malaysian-Chinese MLM skincare products. The structure is MLM, just that the culture is different from conventional MLM (Amway, Elken and the like). But I stopped actively running it since November, and I haven't had any good source of income since.

Even when I was seeing money coming in, the nett profit isn't as much as anyone thought it would be.

That is not why I stopped, though. That will be reserved for another day.

But back to original topic here: I do not have the privilege my friends have.

To travel, their parents will plan it for them. Or they just need to ask. Even when they used their own money to pay for the trips, the money ultimately came from the parents. No hate, just stating facts as they are.

I could only afford to travel when I started earning. For my Bangkok 3D3N trip, the money came from my part-time job as a young children tutor and from basically starving myself. I embarked on the online business journey shortly after that so I can fund other travels.

So far, I managed to make it to Taiwan, Singapore, and some local places.

I also managed to buy flight tickets to Korea and Japan. How I am going to fund those now, I have no idea. 

I don't show it to anyone, and I didn't even complain. I knew I had to hustle. So I did my best balancing work (business), studies, a social life, and a relationship.

and I will keep on doing all that I can, keep on working hard, so that I can live the life I have always wanted. The life where I don't have to worry about spending certain extra cash on things that would add value to my life, or things that would take away small inconveniences. I just don't want to worry about money anymore. Money in the sense as what I have mentioned here. To be comfortable and able to just be able to afford self-enrichment in life. I don't want a fancy car, a fancy house, or even a branded bag. I just want to be able to have the opportunities to grow myself even better.

Sometimes I do think that if I came from a wealthier family, perhaps I would have gotten an even better education, and I would have been able to maximize my capabilities. 

I did not have that opportunity, but I don't want to just sit back and surrender to life. I will do whatever I can. I will remain optimistic, but also be realistic. And I will grind and hustle until I make it.